Lonely Town
by BluJPlover
Summary: This is set after Say Something after Luke tells Lorelai he wants out.Lorelai decides to leave Stars Hollow.What will happen ?AU because she already got the job offer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**_ Whee another story Im on a role.Set in Season 5 after Say Something.I really want reviews...so if you read review..even if its short I need one.Remember I can find the hits so if I get like 1,000 hits and only 5 reviews..or something I just might delete the story..evil smileNow I dont have a beta for this..so...yea.I just got this idea..and I was like..well Im gonna write it.I love Luke and Lorelai..as you can see alllll my stories are about them and thats all they will ever be about.:) Ok...so how is everyone liking season six ? Im loving it but find it depressing that the theme song has Lorelai and Rory all friends but in the series they are like being meanies and it depresses me..oh and speaking of the theme song they need more Luke in there...three appearnces just aint enough.Oh and Paul Anka is just so cute..I luff him._

_**A/N2** Ok so right now I am listenting to the Goo Goo dolls.I love them..there so cool arnt they.I was play fighting with my dogger the other day and then I tried to dance with him..he scratched my poor face..Ouch.I was lying in bed the other night and I kept dreaming up all these Luke and Lorelai situations.A few days before the eppie when Lorelai SPOILERgot a dog I was gonna write bout Lorelai getting a puppy...conicidence..sheesh END SPOLIER THING ok glad thats out of the way.So umm here ..._

_**DISCLAIMER** Whats that..you thought I OWNED Gilmore Girls..no no you silly person...are you like demented..why would you say such a thing HUH HUH HUH oh umm sorry..I guess I m just really depressed on the whole NOT owning of the gilmore girls..._

Lorelai wiped her tear stained face.She had just left Dooses.She was still stunned that Luke wanted out.He had told her he was all in.Why did he want out ? She got into her jeep and bit her lip to keep herself from sobbing.She had messed up another relationship.But this one was different.She loved Luke.She wanted Luke.But he didnt want her.She pulled into her drive way and entered her house.She glanced at the couch.She and Luke had sat on the couch and watched many a movie.She could not bear to look at it.She kicked off her shoes and stumbled up the steps.The pain had not yet fully hitting her,but now she was just starting to feel the edge of it.She opened the door of her room and suppressed a scream of frustration.There was the bed she and Luke had slept in.She wiped several tears from her eyes and collapsed onto the bed.Her mind refused to function and she fell asleep.

Lorelai woke in the morning and yawned,when the events of the last few days hit her.She bit her lip and felt hot tears forming once again in her eyes.They rolled down her pale cheeks as she got up and went into the bathroom.She combed her hair,and applied her make up.Lorelai went downstairs and found she had no desire to drink her coffee.She sighed and bit her lip to try and stop the tears from falling.Today she would wallow.She shuffled over to the freezer and took out some cookie dough ice cream.She grabbed a spoon and shuffled over to the couch.She flipped on the tv and some old Tv land show was playing.Lorelai was not really paying attention though.She couldnt even get the spoon up to her mouth before she lapsed into tears.She sniffled pathetically and gently set the ice cream container on the coffee table.She turned over so she faced the couch and cried.This hurt to much,she couldnt even wallow succsessfully.Lorelai was all alone.Rory was at Yale now.Lorelai sat up straight now a idea forming in her mind.It was not a rational idea,nor a good one.But Lorelai decided.This town had to much hurt in it.Luke was here.She jumped up and ran to her room and started packing things away.It then hit her,she would have to plan this.She could not just get up and leave.She had rent out her house.She thought of something.She might just take up that offer from that Mike guy.She nodded and raced to the phone after looking for the number.She dialed it and waited.

"Yes...Mike...sure"she waited

"I was wondering if I could take you up on that job offer...sure...next week...sure...Thanks...you to...bye." she hung up and started to cry once again.She went up to her room and resumed packing.Her hands were shaking and her fingers were not working.She finished and sighed.She then stumbled back down the stairs and to the couch.She got out her cell phone and dialed a familiar number.It rang until someone picked up.

"Hello ?"

"Rory...its me." she said trying to keep a sniffle out of her voice,but it was to late Rory could tell.

"Mom...is everything ok."

"Me and Luke broke up...and I took up that job offer from the Durham group."

"Oh..Mom...are you selling the house ?" Rory asked sadness evident in her voice.

"No..Ill move to New York and rent a apartment.You can come visit me..Ill probably rent the house out or something." she said and her voice caught.

"Mom..it will be ok..so your sure about moving..."

"Yea..I am."

"Ok Mom...I love you..."

"Bye..." Lorelai said as she hung up.She then proceeded to call Sookie and tell her she was leaving in the next week.Sookie was very sad and even threatened to cry.But Lorelai had told her it was for the best and Sookie understood but made sure she was aloud to visit from time to time.Then she got on the phone with the real estate agency and got her house up for rent.She sat on her couch,feeling sad and defeated.She thought about telling Luke but she just could not face him.He would find out soon enough,she thought bitterly.She sighed and curled up on the couch and cried once again.She felt empty,hollow,but she still had so much pain.She then fell into a deep dark black sleep.

Lorelai had slept through the whole night,and when she awoke she started sobbing.Her eyes were watering as she took her shower and stood letting the warm water wash over her,not doing the least to quell her pain.She got out after more than a half hour and dried her self off with her towel.She got dressed and did her hair although she had a hard time keeping her mascara from smearing.The real estate agent would come over today and go over her renting stuff and help her find a apartment in New York.Lorelai still did not want coffee and was sitting on the couch when the door bell rang.She got up and answered it.She motioned for the agent to come in and they did.She let the agent,Ms.Keller sit on the couch and she explained what she had to do with the rent and things.Ms.Keller had found Lorelai a nice apartment in a outer part of New York close to where she would be working.She finished up and then went about her day trying to wallow and pack up .When she went to bed that night she cried even more,for tomorrow would be the day she moved.

Lorelai woke to the sound of knocking on the door and she got dressed quickly before answering.It was the movers.She explained quickly what to take and how to handle it.They did there jobs quickly and soon Lorelais house was bare,save for the furniture she had to leave behind for the people who were renting.She sighed.

Luke had been in a foul mood since his break up.He knew it was his fault and it made him feel horrible.He hadnt seen Lorelai since then and it worried him.He was filling up a customers cup when he saw a moving truck leaving Stars Hollow.He wondered who was moving but he never thought it would be Lorelai.He then proceeded to throw out another customer who complained about there breakfast.He stalked back into the store room just in time to miss Ms.Pattys and Babbettes words on Lorelai leaving.

Lorelai got in her jeep with one last look at her house.This was stupid she knew but she didnt want to be here anymore.She started the ignition and pulled out of her driveway.She drove down her street slowly reminicing.She drove slowly towards the center of town and past Lukes she sped up then and left Stars Hollow.


	2. Im On My Own

**A/N** _Wohoo another chapter.Soo read it review and be happy.I mean it..be HAPPY.Anyways I love reviews..._

**Disclaimer** _Im a dissingtheclaimer Ok then_

Lorelai sighed.She had been in her new apartment for about a week now and she still missed Stars Hollow,missed Luke.She tried to wallow she tried again to forget him and move on but she couldnt.It was that simple.She could not.She flopped down on her new couch and stared at her bare apartment.It had none of the homey touches of Stars Hollow.A slow sigh escaped her tired lips for she had not been able to sleep since she began her journey from Stars Hollow.

Luke was wiping the counter one day about a week after he saw the moving truck.He caught the glances of town people and wondered what the harshness was for.He finished wiping down a table and headed back to the counter.A wall of whispers made its way to his ears sure to change his life.He stopped suddenly and then quickly went up the stairs.As he entered the apartment he began to piece together what he had heard."Lorelai...Moved ... New York...doesnt look like shell come back...apartment...renting out house...taking job..." he leaned back against the door frame not trusting his knees to hold him up.The whispers resounded in his head,making him sick.He moved over to the couch.He had wanted a break...he didnt mean out,but then why had he said out ? He cursed himself at his own stupidity.He didnt imagine Lorelai would run.The back of his eyes burned.Luke never cried.Never.It was a given that he would never ever cry .So why did he get a ache in his throat ? He bit his lip and threw his cap across the room violently.He pressed the back of his hands to his eyes,trying desperately to fight off the feeling of dread.

Lorelai walked around the Inn she was currently at, watching the staff work.A sigh escaped her lips and she went to the front desk.She picked up a pen and paper and wrote something down that needed to be worked on.She was now adjusting to New York but she still had this feeling whenever she entered her apartment.Something like lonelyness.This was the 2nd time this week she had to work late.Her feet hurt and she was tired.She looked at the clock and was relieved to see that she could go now.She picked up her purse,bid goodbye to the staff and went out to her rental car.She opened the door and slid into the seat.She reached for her keys,turned on the ignition and headed toward her apartment.A song flooded through the radio but Lorelai was not paying attention.Her mind was elsewhere.Her mind was on Luke.She missed him so much,she could not believe he wanted out.He said he was all in before.Lorelai automatically turned into her apartments parking lot not really paying much attention.Lorelai jerked the door open and hurried up to her apartment.She slammed the door shut and sighed as she sank down onto the couch.The tv flickered on at the touch of a button and what else but Pippy Longstocking was on.With a venomous click the channel was changed.

The rest of the evening passed quietly and Lorelai headed off to bed.She shrugged off her shirt and replaced it with a flannel.Lorelai would always sleep in flannel,or else she would not be able to sleep at all.She rustled down into the blankets and let out a long sigh.

Luke finished wiping up the diner and put up the closed sign.He dragged out his steps as he went upstairs and into his apartment.He got into his nighttime clothes and fumbled with the covers as he got into bed.A picture stared back at him as he turned towards the nightstand.Lorelai was sitting on a bench with a cup of coffee and smiling.Luke fingered the frame before closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh.

Lorelai was late getting up the next morning.She gulped down her coffee and got to work in record time.She attended to the Inn stuff and then sat back in her chair.A yawn escaped her mouth and she sighed.She seemed to be doing alot of sighing lately.The phone rang and she answered it making sure to follow the proper Inn conduct in answering the phone.When she hung up she sat back down.A thought entered her mind and she could not make it leave.This was how it was going to be for the rest of her life or close to it.

_A gentle breeze shifted the veil upon her head.Her brown hair hung softly by her sides.Her white dress showed off her baby blue eyes and her beauty.There were trees in full blossom all around her and petals floated gently onto her hair.She looked down a aisle and was startled as her father latched onto her arm and walked her down it.People lined the aisle in chairs tears in there eyes.Lorelai gasped when she saw who was standing at the other end.Luke.She ran to him and kissed him.He smiled and looked deep into her eyes his indigo orbs smiling_.

Lorelai woke with a start.She swung her legs over the bed and shook her head.Why did it have to be this hard ? She slammed on the coffee maker,even though it was about 1 oclock in the morning.Taking a deep breath she dialed a number on her cell phone.

"Youve reached Luke Danes.I am not able to come to the phone right now.Please leave a message."Lorelai hung up and dialed again.She only wanted to hear his voice."Hello ?" a groggy voice answered after her 5th call.She stopped breathing.

"Hello ?" the line went dead.Lorelai leaned her head back against the wall.A warm feeling came to the pit of her stomach.She didnt fully realize how much she missed that voice.


	3. Bad Days

**A/N** Another chapter..yay.Ok Read and review..this was written..well half of it very quickly so scuse the mistakes. :) I dont own a thing..

It had been a week since the phone call and Lorelai found herself missing that voice more and more.She went on with her days but she was a mere shadow of herself.The automatic motions of life she repeated but without a glance.The inn was more stressful then she could ever imagine and the loneliness that eveloped her every time she entered her apartment.Other people could see the change in her,even though the knew her less than a week.People refrained from commenting,for Lorelai was more irritable then ever.She yelled often and got frusterated over little things.Rory hadnt called lately and Lorelai was going downhill.

The alarm clock rang shrill within the walls of the apartment.Luke laid awake staring at the celiing.He was suspicous of that late night phone call.No one had spoken,and he had blank messages on his answering machine.He hoped it was Lorelai but what good would that be any ways ? He felt like a idiot.What was wrong with him ? He shook his head and swung his leg over the side of his bed,leaving the warm nest of blankets behind.His feet hit the cool floor and he sighed.Shuffling to the bathroom he took a shower and got ready to open the diner.As he grabbed a cup from the cupboard he stopped,a coffee mug of Lorelais catching his attention.The mug stayed in his grasp,his fingers running over the chipped surface.He closed his eyes hard trying not to think of Lorelai.Finally as he opened his eyes he set the mug down and turned to head downstairs.

Lorelai smacked the desk,and several people nearby jumped."Stupid..computer.aurghh..." she grumbled trying to get a file to show up.The conceigere quickly ushered some guest up to their rooms stealing a nervous backwards glance to Lorelai before hurrying up the stairs after the disgruntled guests.Lorelai paid them no mind and left the computer muttering angrily.She narrowed her eyes at a worker and began to head in that direction,the employee saw her coming and scampered away.She shook her head and turned back to the desk where the computer had thankfully loaded the file.Lorelais fingers flew as she tapped away on the keyboard,losing herself in the rythmetic sound of her fingers against the keys.

This day had been particularly stressful for her,a new group was coming to the inn.It was the Southern New York Newlywed club,just what she needed.She groaned silently as the group entered the lobby,the couples hanging onto each others every word,laughing having a great time.Putting on a forced smile she went to them,showed them their rooms and got them settled,all the while her heart was breaking all over again.

Luke growled a get out to a customer who asked for there plate of eggs to be cooked more.His eyes gleamed and even oblivious Kirk had enough sense to stay away from Luke,especially since Lukes total of destroyed items had grown to six just this morning.The employees kept a wary distance between themesleves and Luke.

A plate of food was slammed in front of a customer and Luke sulked up to his apartment to put some stuff in the safe.As he clomped up the last stair he shook his head and in a maddening burst of anger punched the wall.He recoiled quickly holding his injured hand with other.

"God..Arggh.." he mumbled wincing greatly.He shook his hand and immediately found it to be in pain.

"Great...just...damn great !" he growled as he made his way to the safe.With his uninjured hand he stuffed the items into the safe and grabbing a role of ace bandage from the bathroom wrapped it around his hand.He stalked down to the diner where no one could even muster the courage to look up from there food or even whisper.

Lorelai dropped her keys on the hallway table as she entered her apartment drained and tired.Her neck ached,her eyes were strained and she had the beginning of a cold.She sank down into the couch to tired to even think about getting something to eat.She closed her eyes and gave a deep sigh of relief.She could feel herself becoming removed from world.She snuggled down into the couch and fell asleep.

Luke walked into his apartment tired and angry.Taylor obviously did not know when to leave him alone and had been bugging him about some town flyers that he wanted Luke to put up.Luke was in no mood from it and threw Taylor almost literally.Ceasar had to pull Luke back and the whole scene had not been very pretty.Luke wandered over to his bed and slipped into the covers without even bothering to change.As his head hit the pillow he let out a deep sigh.He tried to fight off sleep so he could think for a while but his eye lids became heavy and he drifted off.

Luke awoke the sun shining through the blinds and into his eyes.He grimanced and looked to the clock.It was 9:00 and Luke hadnt opened the diner yet.With a cry of frustration he got dressed and headed downstairs.Ceasar had opened for him.

"Im going out Ceasar." Luke called,he was not in the mood to be doing work.

"Sure boss." he said quickly glad that Luke was leaving.

Luke grabbed a jacket and stepped onto the sidewalk.He had no clue where he was heading and he just let his legs take him.A few minutes later he found himself at the Gilmore house.He cursed under his breath and turned to leave.But he stopped,he found he did not want to leave.He went over to the steps and sat down staring at the house he had helped fix up.He ran a hand absently down the railing.He knew this house better then anyone else,maybe even better then the Gilmore Girls had.He sighed and got up after about a half hour of remincing.He walked slowly back to the diner and helped serve,quiet and reserved.


	4. To Painful

_A/N I am sooo sorry for the long wait.School and lack of muse kept me from writing.So uhh here it is..Im not sure if Im proud of it or not..hehe_

_Disclaimer.Not my characters.Meh._

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It was a year after Lorelai had left,her routine had steadied out yet her nights remained sleepless.She

had gotten a reputation at the Inn she worked at,for she was always on edge snapping at everyone

who breathed.Lorelai although she tried could not forget about Luke.Every waking thought was

bout him-or close to it-.This particular morning Lorelai decided to head out to the mall-after all she

was a Gilmore,-to pick up some clothes and other accesories.Putting the finishing touches on her

make up,a little blush here,eye shadow there some lip gloss dabbed on,and Lorelai Gilmore was ready to go.

Her foot pressed the gas,as if she could take out all her frustration on the small peddle.The jeep

roared along the highway-it was truly a miracle she did not crash- and soon the entrance to the local

mall crashed into view.With a turn of the steering wheel and some quick parking spot -spotting

Lorelai was walking up to the large glass doors-in classy heels nonetheless- ready to begin her

shopping mania.With quick confident steps,Lorelai was in her zone.Her eyes focused,lips pursed,she

was in shopping mode.Perhaps thats why she didnt see the man clad in familiar flannel and

backwards baseball cap staring wide eyed from a Timberland store.

After a year without Lorelai,Luke was still kicking his own ass for messing the relationship and

friendship up.The diner suffered major,most people stopped coming.With regular throw outs and

charred food,no one really wanted to eat there anymore.Sure it had been a lot of people favorite

place to eat-one of the oldest in fact-but it was either get crappy food and good service or get

crappy food and be under the wrath of Luke.Maybe thats why when Jess called from New

York,Luke decided to go stay with him for a while.-Take a breather from the diner- he said.Jess let

him come,mostly because-he would never admit it-but he missed his uncle.

About a week after Luke arrived in New York,Jess suggested he go to the mall.,actually more like

demanded-He was going to work and didnt want his uncle hanging around his apartment while he

was gone.-in more or less words.-He also included a crack that Luke should make sure not to miss

the Timberland store-Luke reluctantly agreed,even though he hated the mall,things change after all.

The green pickup truck-oldest truck known to man in fact- eased its way down the highway,other

vehicles passing it left and right.Lukes hands clutched the wheel tightly-he hated highways-.Breathing

a faint sigh of relief as the outline of the shopping mall fought its way into his vision,Luke pulled into

the tire worn parking lot.With slow heavy steps Luke made his way to the looming doors,a dubious

look upon his features.As he stepped inside the first thing he noticed was the incredible level of

noise,and the smell.It was like Luke remembered it,stuffy loud and smelled like a locker room,to

Luke at least.

How Luke found himself at the Timberland store amazed even him.But he was there,and just a bit

uncomfortable.He browsed ,he looked,he sorted through,he did everything possible when searching

through a Timberland store,well except buy anything but that is way beside the point.As Luke was

sorting and looking and whatnot he just happened to look up and caught a glance of a tall,blue eyed

brunttette that Luke could swear was Lorelai or Lorelais twin sister.So there he stood,looking very

much like a idiot,mouth hanging open,feet glued to hard tile floor.When he did actually move it was to

stumble out of the store and then sit,stationary once again on a small wooden bench.

Lorelai was oblivious,her heels clicking almost angrily on the cold tile floor.Shopping was a

dud,everything she found cute or something she wanted to buy,reminded her of Luke.That was the

sad thing,she should be over Luke by now it had been a year after all .Lorelai doubled back,now in

front of the Timberland store,a slightly sad expression on her face.Of course she was oblivious to the

shell shocked Lucas Danes watching her from his bench.Lorelai turned,gaze to the ground and sat on

the bench,the exact bench that Lukes bench happened to be on the other side of.

Neither one noticed the other or were even aware they were so close,Luke had looked down soon

after he saw her,heart beating wildly in his chest.Lorelai had her gaze plastered to the ground.It was

ironic,both of them had been yearning to see the other the whole time Lorelai had been gone.Yet

here they were now as close as they could be and they were oblivious.Her heels tapped lightly on the

ground,his boots echoing the sound.Lorelai was playing nervously with her hands,Luke was picking

at the side of the bench.The mall was still loud and rowdy but for Luke and Lorelai it seemed it was

muted,both thinking about the other.

Finally Lorelai stood,clutching her purse a frown on her face.She circled around the bench,her eyes

growing wide and heart picking up speed frantically.There in front of her,so close she could

touch-was Luke Danes.She tried to clear her throat,say something,but her voice was stuck in her

throat.Fortunatly,or unfortunately depending how you looked at it,Luke looked up and locked gazes

with Lorelai.His eyes too went wide and he too tried to clear his throat and say something.

"Lorelai-"

"Luke"

Her voice was short and she did not think she could manage to talk to him much longer without

crying.His voice was somewhat surprised .They both started and adverted their gazes.

"So,uh,how are ...you ?" Luke asked nervously-he didnt know whether to be mad or happy to see

her-she had left without saying goodbye.Then again he was the one who had broken up with her.

"Im fine,just peachy." Lorelai lied her tone on the edge of being rude,her blues adverting his gaze.

"Thats good." he said quietly.

"Yup.." Lorelai said softly.

Luke shifted onto his feet,hand shoved into his pockets-which Lorelai recongized as a nervous

gesture.Clearing her throat she looked away-it was to painful to see him right now.

"I better go." she said letting out her breath,eyes staring down at the ground.

"Yea..okay." Luke said tone soft and sad his breath caught at the last word and he cleared his throat.

Lorelai gave him a weak smile before turning away,Lukes mouth opened but no words could come

out-although all he wanted to do was feel her in his arms again and to tell her to come back.Luke

watched her retreating form,a sigh escaping his lips.He blew it big time-she couldnt even be near him

for more then five minutes.


	5. Silent Fade

_A/N Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. I really did not mean to let this story go un updated for so long.I apologize profusely ! Please dont hate me and please keep reading.This chapter is...I dont know.xD Read and review,tell me what you think if you would could please _

_**JoEySaNgEl1534**-Glad you think so.Sorry bout the wait._

**michelle** -I may or may not xD Sorry for the wait.  
**  
orangesherbert7**-xD glad you liked !  
**  
JavaJunkie22**-Sorry I updated but I forgot the soon part...glad you liked.  
**  
chelsgg71091-**xD glad you loved it !  
**  
gilmoregirlsfanatic**-Im glad it made you sad xD afterall,thats why I wrote the story-I ish a huge angst lover...but it should turn out alright...or not xD  
**  
sarahb2007**-Of course ! xD

**Ronata-** hands a tissue...xD

**tom** -tom I love your reviews.xD sorry I kept you waiting.I love happy endings,but we shall see -cue evil smiley-ahem xD

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Lorelai dragged herself into her apartment expression stoic but inside she was tearing up.She did not want to see him again-she knew it would hurt and it did, oh how it did.She almost felt angry at him.She was almost over him,just barely but she was getting there.Then he had to come to New York,she had to _see_ him,_talk_ to him,and that hurt more then anything else Lorelai had ever expericanced.As she flopped down on the couch she wondered where she would be right now if things hadnt got so screwed.Would they be serious ? A established couple ? Married even ? And her heart ached because,she had found herself dreaming of marrying him,somewhere in her torn and bleeding heart she knew he was the one-but how could she possibly fix this giant mess,that she unpurposely created in the first place.If only she had been honest with him-told him about her innocent meeting with Christopher-maybe if her parents were not so set on ridding Lorelai of this so called filthy diner man. 

She wanted to scream and cry and maybe suffocate herself with a pillow for fun.She collapsed softly on the couch,grabbing a pillow and holding it tight,resting her chin against the top.Life wasnt fair.She knew that well,but just for once she wanted it to be fair for her,just once and she could be happy.The tears start before she can stop them,hot,angry, and filled with sorrow.She is angry at herself,if she is over him why these tears ? She had promised herself she would not cry over him anymore,and she hadnt.This only made her clutch the pillow harder,silent sobs wracking her body.Her face was soaked,the front of her shirt peppered with drops of salty tears.The tears would not stop they were falling as if all her unshed tears had broke free from her heart and were now making their way down her face.

Gently and ever so slowly her tears led her into a restless slumber.The pillow was still clutched to her chest as she slumped sorrowfully upon the couch.Her hair was mussed up and spread across her face,streaks running down her pale face from the tears,mixed with mascara.Her face was almost serene as she slept,but a troubled pained look remained.

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When Luke headed back his apartment he could barely breath.So clouded with unshed tears were his eyes,he could scarcely see five feet ahead of him.His hands grip the steering wheel with a urgent panic.He had lost her,she hated him,she didnt want him-And it was his fault.Maybe that is what hurt so much,he had caused this,she was in pain because of him.Sure she had lied to him,but he broke it.He broke her,he did not trust her when he knew he should have.He knew she would never do anything to hurt him and he believed he would not either.Well sometimes hes not always right.He jerked the steering wheel harshly as his apartment complex came into view.Yes,he was staying ,the day before he had signed the lease papers for the small three room apartment.He was staying because she was not in Stars Hollow,he was staying because she was here.He wanted to be as close to her as possible,he ached without her next to him and just wanted the pain to dull a bit.And the only way that would happen is if he was close to her. 

His heart broke over and over again as he looked around his apartment,bare and cold,unwelcoming before settling on the only bright objects in the room.In the corner was a desk,a plain desk,solid walnut oak.Atop that desk were pictures,five lonely pictures of one radiating woman,brunette and blue eyed.Three pictures of her daughter-to whom he felt more of a father to then he suspected the real one did any day.One heartbreaking picture of the good times,a candid photo of a happy couple at a town festival.Wrapped in his arms she looked secure,safe,happy,and as he looked longingly upon the frame he realized he had took that from her.When he had saw her at the mall,he could not help but notice the spark had left her eyes,and he could not help but think the spark had left his as well.

Wandering fadingly to his blow up mattress upon the floor he did all he could to keep himself from throwing himself upon the make-shift bed and sobbing-how manly of him.He can not remember doing this over Rachel,he cant remember doing this over Nicole,he can not remember doing it over Lorelai because he is living through it.He is a loser,a jerk off ,an ass,he did this to himself.He did it ! Not her,he did,and that hurt,he thought he would be the one to be hurt-if it even ever came to that-yet he was the one who had inflicted it,though he suspected he was neck in neck with her for pain.But what if she was over him ? He never considered that.Maybe she hated him for hurting her,maybe she did not care.But he knew her,more then anyone else besides her daughter,and he knew that was not true.

* * *

Days past slowly for her,her normally energetic day dull and lifeless as she went through the automatic motions of life.She missed him,he was here,she could feel it and that scared her.She stood in front of her bathroom mirror,dabbing some cover up upon her face and just trying to make her self presentable for work.When she is done she goes to the living room,turning slowly,casting a look around her living quarters.Bare and dull is all she can think of as her eyes sweep the room.Love is a joke,she mused silently,sullen blue orbs locking onto a forlorn picture frame resting on the edge of her mantle.A joke that quite frankly-she the queen of jokes-found humorless.Hands hang limp at her sides,a deep breath emitted through her mouth to calm the tears that threaten to break.Closing her eyes quickly she stand in the middle of her living room,fists now clenched tightly,looking for all the world defeated.A low heartbreaking sigh echoed through the room as she once more opened her eyes and prepared herself to face the world.The harsh,cruel,loveless world. 

When she arrives at the Inn she is not surprised to find the work already piling up.Tiredly she begins her work,flitting from one task to another,not able to quite concentrate upon what was at task.Finally one of the employees told her to go home.Home.That stung.She did not know where home was anymore.Her apartment ? The Gilmore mansion ? Stars Hollow ? In her heart she knew where her home was and had always been,she fought back the urge to cry in front of the employee,but simply nodded instead and gathered her things to leave.

* * *

Luke sulked around his apartment for a while longer.Lingering gazes tossed toward the window,wondering where_ she _was.A light sigh escaped from his lips as he leaned against the window pane,watching as it began to rain.A soft steady downpour,the quiet patter of rain against the glass through the silence.He can see his reflection,his worn face,the stubble he refused to shave because he remembered she liked it. He swallowed hard,closing his eyes for a moment to bask in the nothingness.He loved the feeling of blackness,it made the moment easier,there was nothing to deal with,nothing to see,just nothing.A sudden crash of thunder makes him jump,his eyes fly open and he peers at the now darkened room.Suddenly and for no apparent reason he runs outside,standing in the middle of the courtyard in the pouring rain looking up at the angry clouds. 

He let the rain fall down his face,pooling off the bridge of his nose and onto his stubble.The rain was amazingly cool against his skin,icy actually and he relishes the feeling of being brought into reality,not a particularly fluffy reality but a reality none the less.He feels as if he needs to _do_ something,something to get her back,something that will end with her in his arms.He moves to sit upon a wooden bench,in desperate need of paint and a bit worn but steady and strong,and burries his face in his hands,and lets the tears fall.

* * *

The thunder startles her as she sits upon the window sill,her pure blue optics adjusting to the sudden darkness that came with the power outage.The sudden need to be somewhere,to get away,overwhelms her.Getting up she heads outside,letting the rain settle down upon her and numb her aching heart.She turns slowly,lifting her face so she is looking directly upwards.She wants to scream and cry,and pound on things until Luke is back.She wants to plead with him to come back to her,she wants these things so desperately it hurts. 

"Why !" she screams,albeit softly,and the tears come.


End file.
